Volume 1, Edition 11 © Rhoberta Shaler, PhD., Founder, Spiritual Living Network
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A NOTE FOR YOU FROM RHOBERTA...

Dear Friends,

You are important. Every breath or action you take makes a difference. You are significant. And, I’m glad you are receiving Spiritual Living Digest so that we can connect.

I know it has been a while since the last edition. I’ve been traveling, both by plane and car, and also through thoughts, ideas, paradigms and systems. Time does pass quickly when I’m having fun, and entertaining new ideas can be fun. It can also lead to shift.  As they say, shift happens!

So, I’m back and will do my best to send you some insights and inspiration every two or three weeks.

One place I’ve been on my journey was to create the new programs you’ll find at www.SoulDrivenLiving.com   After much thought, meditation and prayer, Soul-Driven Living arose as the focus of my work for the next while. It brings together the areas of Life, Work, Love, Leadership, Parenting & Education where my expertise and experience lies. It’s a great fit and I look forward to sharing these ideas and insights with you, here in Spiritual Living Digest and in the programs I’ve created at www.SoulDrivenLiving.com/soul-driven-programs/index.htm  There are home study programs, teleseminars, coaching, seminars and retreats.  I hope you’ll join me and walk together through this new landscape.

As you know, I do not do a lot of marketing as I only want to bring you important and relevant offerings for your personal and spiritual development. So, when I do send something, you can rest assured that I have researched it and recommend it. I promise never to send you anything to just get you involved in some marketing machine!  I do send you small notices about things I think you’ll be interested in and get great benefit from.  Please trust me on this.

I hope you’ll enjoy this edition as I’ve started to write pieces on the Soul-Driven Living topics. Today’s article is Finding Joy in Soul-Driven Love. 

If I can help you through coaching, courses or consultation, please don’t hesitate to contact me directly at RS@SoulDrivenLiving.com

Many blessings,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Founder, Spiritual Living Network™ and Soul-Driven Living™
www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com
www.SoulDrivenLiving.com
www.SoulSolitude.com

A) QUOTE TO INSPIRE

There is a Universal Wholeness seeking expression through everything. We are calling it simply Life. The religionist calls it God. The philosopher calls it Reality. Life is infinite energy coupled with limitless creative imagaination. It is the invisible essence and substance of every visible form. Its nature is goodness, truth, wisdom and beauty, as well as energy and imagination. Our highest satisfaction comes from a sense of conscious union with this invisible Life.

- Ernest Holmes

If you would like more of these, subscribe now to Daily
Spiritual Quotes, http://www.DailySpiritualQuotes.com

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B) TIP FOR SPIRITUAL LIVING

Take good care of yourself daily.

This is not selfish, but wise. You cannot give a gift you do not have and the gifts of love, support, caring, and joy come from nourishing yourself with your reading, Soul Solitude, meditation, prayer and silence. When you are filled up by your personal practices, you have time, attention, love and care to offer.

If you have a script around selfishness, read Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up, and you’ll begin to see things differently, and love yourself more. That’s always a good thing. www.SoulSolitude.com

 

C) SPIRITUAL LIVING NETWORK NEWS

D) TODAY'S FEATURED ARTICLE

FINDING THE JOY OF SOUL-DRIVEN LOVE – Part I
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Founder, www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com & www.SoulDrivenLiving.com

We all want to seen, heard, known and acknowledged.  William James, the father of modern psychology, wrote that “The deepest craving of the human nature is the desire to be appreciated.” And, appreciation is free. Why is it in such short supply? Why do we withhold our appreciation, even unconsciously?

Fear may be the answer. Somehow, we are afraid that if we give too much, we’ll run out, or, be asked to pour it into a never-ending abyss. The first is false: we cannot run out of love.  It is the same as that old idea that lighting another’s candle from your own candle takes nothing from the light you hold. That’s the easy part.  However, it is a deep-seated fear that we can see in the way small children behave. During one period of development around two years old, a child is unsure if Mom has enough love for anyone but her. This is demonstrated when the mother takes someone else’s child on her knee and her own child runs to her and wants to be held. The child’s fear is “There is not enough love to go around and that love from my mother belongs to me!”  It is not true, but humans sometimes think it is so.

The second, that we will be asked to pour love into a never-ending abyss, is true. Pouring is required for a spiritual life, along with sharing, giving and forgiving. It is not about the return on your investment. That’s why the spiritual life, as I’ve said so many times before, is not for the feint of heart. It is not engaged in to look good, be seen as good, be praised, acknowledged or recognized. It is simply a way of being that you choose.

As a psychologist, I know that there are legions of books written about boundaries and fairness, reciprocity and mutuality. I’ve included those ideas in my own books, and there is wisdom there. However, if we want to find the joy of soul-driven love, we need to have a serious look at who we are, how we are, and what we’re up to in relationship.  And, we need to focus on the giving rather than the getting or having our needs met. That’s a trap that leads to unhappiness, and, often, divorce.

As I’ve been developing and presenting the Soul-Driven Love™ (1) programs, it has become clearer and clearer that we need to pay attention to our own work, our homework, if we truly want to open ourselves to Soul-Driven Love. The first part of the work is on and with ourselves. Having worked with hundreds of couples, I know how frequently a couple comes in and the hidden—and often, not so hidden—agenda of each is “Fix my partner!  If only s/he would get with the program, understand the issues, care more, be more, do more….”  And, yes, if that would solve the dilemma, we could get right onto it. That’s not the place to start. We must start with ourselves, in the quiet, the soul solitude.

Right now you may be hoping there is someone else to ask, right?  Someone who will just take the back off your partner, mother, or child, tinker a little, and bring them back to you made in the perfect image of how you want them to be. I guarantee that you would only like that for a few minutes, hours or days. Although it seems like the answer, it is not.  

Have you ever seen the movie, Pleasantville?  I invite you to watch it. In Pleasantville, everything is perfectly pleasant because no one thinks, feels or wonders “what if.”  Someone from Outside, a place no one in Pleasantville knew existed, arrives.  Things change. When feelings come into the picture, the residents of Pleasantville change from black and white to color. That’s what humans do—they think and feel. And, they change. That’s life!  And, that ever-changing landscape, experienced from a spiritual framework, keeps us in the present moment, the actual only place there is.

Finding the joy of Soul-Driven Love takes us on a path of discovery about ourselves first, and ourselves in relationship second. We cannot have a soul-mate until we slow down and take time for our own soul to catch up. Most folks spend a lot of time running as fast as they can. They are not sure what they are running so fast towards, however, they seem to hope it has to do with love, money, success, and security. If only they knew that it cannot be found while running! It can only be found in the secret, sacred silence of Soul Solitude. That time in the silence brings you the missing peace and pieces that make us whole. When we experience that daily, we gently open our hearts and minds to the presence of Love in our lives. When Love is present when we are alone, it is amazing how attractive it is to others.

The joy of Soul-Driven Love is available when you are available to yourself. You begin to create that availability by being open and still in Soul Solitude. Paradoxical though it seems, you work on your relationship when you are alone creating and maintaining your relationship with yourself and your true spiritual nature. Only then can you be truly open to another, to walk with another in love, honesty, peace and integrity. When you are ready to move from what most folks think of as love, a role-to-role relationship, take the steps that lead you to the possibility of a Soul-to-Soul relationship and do your own work. Begin now.

1  You can participate in the Soul-Driven Love programs through teleseminars, coaching, seminars and retreats.  Visit www.SoulDrivenLove.com to learn more.  To get your own copy of Soul Solitude: Taking Time for Our Souls to Catch Up  visit, www.SoulSolitude.com

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, has helped thousands to see life differently. Through many years as a transpersonal psychologist, she has assisted people in all phases of life from those facing death and despair to those seeking solutions to the practical problems of living and working together.

Dr. Shaler connects people with their authentic selves, their purpose and values, and provides insights and inspiration to overcome the challenges of personal, family and business life.  Through her coaching, teleseminars, keynotes and onsite programs, they uncover the deep parts of themselves that make life meaningful, rich and satisfying while acquiring the skills to confidently and competently communicate, manage conflict and anger, and negotiate successfully.  

To learn more about the breadth of her work, and to subscribe to her newsletters, visit: www.Rhoberta.com. Author of more than a dozen books and audio programs, Dr. Shaler is a sought-after speaker, trainer and facilitator. She is the founder of Spiritual Living Network™ and Soul-Driven Living™.

RESOURCES FOR YOU...

PERSONALIZE YOUR EMAILS AND WEBSITES WITH YOUR OWN VOICE.  This is the program I use to record teleseminars, create audio of all kinds.  It has a free trial period so give it is shot now! You'll capture attention and have fun doing it. AND, it's so easy! http://www.Rhoberta.AudioAcrobat.com

SOUL-DRIVEN LIVING. Soul-Driven Living is rooted in the deepest part of our being. Spiritual growth is the journey of the Soul, our awareness and development of our Authentic Selves. This journey is Soul-Driven Living. If you know there is more for you than striving to acquire, chasing your desires, or, waiting to retire, we invite you to learn and grow with us. www.SoulDrivenLiving.com

A GIFT FOR YOU: Dr. Shaler offers you her ebook, No Limits Living, at www.NoLimitsLiving.com , absolutely free.

SET YOUR OWN PRICE TELESEMINAR: Love - How to Stop Bartering and Start Loving Each Other. BY DONATION. July 30, 6:30pm PST Register now!

GET THE INSIGHTS THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR APPROACH, YOUR RELATIONSHIPS & YOUR CAREER.  Taken online in 10 minutes with immediate results by email.  www.CoreValuesProfile.com

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